Heartbreak is not often treated with the same compassion as loss or illness, but it can be just as debilitating. We’ve all experienced the pangs of heartache in one way or another. If you’re currently feeling heartache, let the plants support you. They’re one of the best guides you can have on your side.
Many people go through heartbreak on a regular basis, but it’s not something that society will often accommodate. Chances are, you have no idea that Deborah at the desk next to you just broke up with her partner last week. Because all she knows is to suck it up and get on with it.
When someone gets a diagnosis, becomes ill, or, say, breaks a bone, it’s very visible. Or at least allowed to be talked about. But heartbreak is something that’s not as visible.
And I’m not just talking about when a partnership, marriage, or relationship ends. Heartbreak comes in the form of family members who stop speaking to each other, losing a close friend, or deciding to go different ways with any kind of special person in your life.
We live in a strange world these days, with lots of heartbreak, yet most people don’t know what tools they need to deal with it. It’s often kept hidden, and we’re told to just go on with our daily lives.
Really, you might need some time to refocus because heartbreak is downright painful. And thank goodness we have plants, because they’re going to be your key to getting through this.
This post will cover…
The Universality of Heartbreak
There’s a reason every singer resorts to love songs…and breakup songs. They’re an anthem we can all relate to.
Even if you’re still with your high school sweetheart, we’ve all experienced heartache. Oftentimes, it’s associated with a breakup from a partner, and we’ll load up songs like Adele’s, Someone Like You, or Carole King’s, It’s Too Late.
But heartache can come from all kinds of relationships. It can be from the loss of a friendship, someone moving away, your child pulling away as they get older, or even grief over the death of someone dear to you. It’s losing any kind of attached relationship.
Heartbreak is often hiding under the surface while we all put on a brave face. It can take some time for people to feel themselves again, and I wanted to give some visibility to anyone who is currently healing a broken heart.
Practical Tips to Cope With Heartache
With all that being said, I really like practical tips that you can apply to your life. So, if you’re dealing with heartbreak, here are some things that you can do.
Ride the Waves
When you first feel that pang of heartache, I want you to ride the wave. Heartache can be triggered by many things, as memories are tied to all kinds of objects, phrases, places, scents, etc. When we experience the trigger, it can arrive like one big wave.
But the thing about waves is that they do calm back down.
Rather than try to text the person or give into whatever kind of behaviour you’re trying to avoid, acknowledge that you’re experiencing a moment of heartache. Remind yourself that this is normal, no matter what stage you are in, and that the feeling is temporary.
After this, try to take your mind away from the heartache. Whether that’s watching a funny show, calling a friend, or one of the many gardening projects I have here on Garden Therapy, do something nurturing for yourself.
Get Outside
Did you know that just getting outside can instantly boost your mental health? It’s something I love to rave about here on Garden Therapy and has been proven time and time again by different research studies.
When you get outside and interact with nature, your stress goes down, you can feel less anxious, and it can even help with depression.
It doesn’t take much, either. Just a quick five minutes outside, breathing in the fresh air can help you feel more at ease. It’s a great thing to do when you need to ride the wave of heartache.
Interact With Plants
Likewise, the science behind getting outside is the same as interacting with plants. Now, I know I’m biased, but surrounding myself with plants has healed me in many different ways, more times than I can count.
Being around plants is a great way to distract yourself while also feeling connected to another being. While our friends and family can be supportive to lean on during heartache, they’re not always available to help.
Often, we have to process the feelings a lot more than other people can take on to support us. Using plants as another form of connection can help you fill those gaps yourself.
Take this time to add some houseplants to your home, start a new garden, or work on another plant related project. Watch it grow, and one day you may realize the plant has doubled in size whole your heartache has become memories.
For more on how people and plants connect, check out this post.
Reconnect With Your Hobbies
When we’re in a relationship of any kind, so much of our time is dictated by spending time with the other person/people. Suddenly having more time for yourself can feel quite jarring.
To manage the loneliness that can come from this, use this time to help regain your sense of self. What did you do with your time before the relationship? What activities do you love but rarely have time for anymore?
Of course, I’m going to suggest more ways to connect with nature. These can include going on a tour of a local garden, planting something outside, flipping through seed catalogues, or harvesting a bouquet of flowers. It could be as simple walking your local park to forage for pinecones and then making a crafts with what you find.
There’s something you can do every season. Here are some ideas to get you started…
I encourage you to make your own dopamine menu, which embraces many of these ideas. You can find a whole list of ideas in this post.
Remember, it’s okay to shed some tears. The plants aren’t going to judge you. Take care, and hugs to you. I’ve been where you are it’s not fun. It does, however, get easier.
Keep on growing. xo
More Ways to Find Solace in the Garden
