One of the best realizations I’ve had since becoming a mom is this: if you want good parenting advice, go straight to the source — your fellow parents. Today, CoJ friends share their best tips, from dealing with picky eaters to weathering tantrums…
Something I’ve learned myself:
1. One of the easiest ways to build a young child’s confidence is to let them help you with a daily chore like cooking or Swiffering the floors. Yes, at first they usually end up leaving you more work to clean up, which can be a drag. But the look on their face when they master a new skill, like pouring pancake ingredients in a bowl with no spills or sweeping together a tiny dust pile? Magic.
From Abbey:
2. My secret weapon for picky eaters? We play board games at dinner. Because when kids are focused on plotting their next Connect Four move, they mysteriously forget whatever it is they love to resist — a new texture, an unfamiliar vegetable, a food you know they like but they’ve decided to hate. Currently, our dinner table has transformed into a nightly Chinese Checkers tournament. We’ve had success with Junior Scrabble and those classic fishing games, too. It works wonders with five-to-seven-year-olds.
From Ruth:
3. Take more videos of your kid than you think you need, or want. Take so many that you’re embarrassed by how many videos you have. Photos are great, but you’ll never regret having just one more video of your kid’s wiggling bum during that last week she was crawling, before she decided she would walk from here on out.
From Miranda:
4. Resolve to greet your child with delight every single morning. You don’t have to be ‘on’ the rest of the time, of course, but starting your child’s day with a friendly face is life-changing. My wonderful mom did this for me, and after her sudden death, I resolved to do it for my kids.
5. It’s okay to let kids fail. It can feel terrible, but it’s important.
From Loryn:
6. You can’t stop a full-blown tantrum in the middle, so don’t even try. The only thing you can do is acknowledge their feelings, and then wait as long as it takes for your kid to get through. For my child that can be a VERY long time. So, I make it a point during tantrums to focus on my own calmness with deep breaths. Over time, her emotional storms have calmed down more and more. Your kid will eventually develop the ability to self-regulate, but until then, try not to be too hard on them or yourself.
From Caroline:
7. My ultimate baby hack is called *nap cap*. Basically: when your baby is overstimulated and having a hard time falling asleep, slip the front of their hat down over their eyes, then rock or stroll them for a bit, and BAM. They’re out. It’s basically an eye mask for babies and works well in bright places like the airport or at a restaurant.
8. I have three boys — ages six, four, and two — and I love reading around them. If they’re watching a show, I’ll sit near them on the sofa and read my novel. If they’re drawing, I’ll draw with them for a while, and then turn to reading. If they’re running around the park, I’m on a bench with my book. This didn’t start as a way to tap into their subconscious and force them to love reading, but now my six-year-old is reading independently and constantly saying things like ‘Mom, maybe this afternoon we could just have a little cozy reading time.’ It feels like a parenting peak.
From Edith:
9. Consider unfollowing those good-but-overwhelming constant-parenting-advice Instagram accounts and newsletters. Seeing ‘how to be a better parent’ all day is draining. You’re doing great.
From Jenny:
10. What I’d say to new parents is: Don’t beat yourself up if you go down a road you thought you wouldn’t go down, like using a pacifier or not eating dinner at the table as a family. Kids are way more game to change things up when you’re ready than you may think. Nothing’s set in stone.
Thank you so much, parents. What would you add?
P.S. Home as a haven, and what stage of parenting are you in right now?
(Photo by Valbar Studio/Stocksy.)
